Accepting Personal Responsibility


Today on The Crystallyfe we are going to talk about Accepting Personal Responsibility, but before I get to that I want to tell a story. Kelly Price, R&B/Gospel Singer, (you can visit her Wikipedia page here) got invited to sing at the Indiana Black Expo on the Gospel Stage. I’m going to say that again and put emphasis on two words. Kelly Price, R&B/Gospel Singer, got invited to sing at the Indiana Black Expo on the Gospel Stage..Gospel Stage (keep these word close to your heart and in the front of your mind). I can imagine Ms. Price walked upon the stage like a queen ascending her throne as she prepared to grace expo attendees with her beautiful voice. Well, Ms. Price decided to use her beautiful voice to stand on the Gospel Stage (there are those words again) and sing her version of “As We Lay”.  For those of you that are looking at the song title and thinking “Crystal!!! What’s wrong with As We Lay?” “She’s just singing about Jesus dying on the cross…As We Lay Jesus on the Cross…Right?” I’m sorry to say that you are absolutely Wrong!!! As We Lay is about two adulterous lovers who have spent a night together, probably at some seedy motel, and now must go home to their respective spouses. He must go home to his wife and she must go home to her husband. The song paints a picture of how the sun is coming up and their tumultuous night was so wonderful that they forgot that they both belong to someone else. You get the point, right? Well, after Ms. Price got off the Gospel stage the M.C. of the show “chased” her down and told her that what she had sung on the Gospel stage was highly inappropriate. Ms. Price proceeds to get on Instagram to explain that she was invited to sing a song…not a gospel song as well as talk about church bigotry and that’s why people don’t go to church. I don’t know the exact words, but it went something like that.

A video posted by Kelly Price (@mskellyprice) on

Now, Ms. Price started off singing in the church; that’s where her roots are. So she’s knows better, she knows that As We Lay is not an appropriate song to perform on a Gospel Stage.  There will never be an instance in which performing “As We Lay” on a Gospel stage would be tolerable. For a moment, I want to play devil’s advocate and say maybe Kelly didn’t know that she was performing on the Gospel stage, maybe someone in her camp forgot to say, “Hey Kelly, you’re going to be on the Gospel stage.” Even if this did happen Kelly Price could have taken a moment and said ”Hey, You know what my bad. I didn’t know that I was going to perform on the Gospel Stage, I got the wrong information. I’m sorry.”  Here is where we get to the personal responsibility part of the story, Kelly didn’t want to accept responsibility for the mistake she made (This is me assuming that she didn’t know).  Instead, she choose to blame church people and church bigotry when she got reprimanded.  One thing that bothers me as I go through life is people that always find a way to blame others for their problems. I’m chunky, because I like to eat and I don’t like to exercise. You don’t see my blaming Nothing Bundt Cakes or Cold Stone Creamery for this extra weight that I have. There are times in life where we must accept responsibility for our actions and the outcomes (good or bad), but to sit back and continue to blame someone or something for the state of your life is just lazy.  Not everything that happens to you is someone else’s fault. Sometimes it’s your fault.  Ladies let me tell you something, if you meet a man and he’s already a dead beat dad, 9 times out of 10 he’s going to be a dead beat dad to your child as well. So don’t get mad when you have a baby by him and he’s not around, you knew what you were getting into…accept some responsibility. If you’ve been married 5 or 6 times, the problem can’t lie with all of your ex-spouses at some point you have to look deep inside and say, “What’s going on with me?” Sure there are things that happen in our life in which we have no control over. You’ve worked hard all year and didn’t get that promotion you wanted. Technically, not your fault, someone at your job didn’t recognize the greatness in you, but you do have control over what happens next.

In a time in which everyone is saying, “Do the Work!!!,”  No one ever really “Does The Work!!!”

As I close out my rant for today, I want to leave a present, the As We Lay Video. Enjoy!!